Making peace with our past

Motivate Monday series

Last week we discussed our intention to CRUSH the upcoming 20’s. We have TWO MORE WEEKS to get ready!

Are you ready?

In order to plan for our future, we need to make peace with our past.

I know we talked about our own personal groundwork being a place of beauty, but I want to walk through this particular topic a little more slowly.

Our pasts, whatever they may contain, grew us to where we are right now, and that is something to be thankful for.

The good and the bad, the sunshine and the desert both shaped us into who we are right this moment.

And we are still going to do so many great things.

Making peace with our pasts does not excuse trauma or heartache that has been inflicted upon us.

Making peace with our past means that we can be grateful we are still standing.

It means that we can acknowledge that we’ve been through painful seasons, and we’re thankful we made it to the other side.

I’m not asking you to bless others with forgiveness if that’s not where your heart is. I’m asking you to give yourself permission to let go of the things that you are carrying because you don’t have to carry that pain any longer.

Whatever happened, whatever obstacles you have overcome, you did it! You made it to the other side.

Last week, we wrote a letter to our future selves.

This week, I want you to write another letter. Make amends with your past. Acknowledge all of the battles you have overcome. Give yourself credit for how far you’ve made it.

Reconcile the baggage you have been carrying, make peace with your past, and let it go.

Imagine packing each moment, each painful memory, each heartache in a box.

We’re going to leave that box right here, friends.

We’re going to be thankful for the lessons we’ve learned and the knowledge we’ve gained through our trials, and we are going to disempower the pain them by not carrying them with us any longer.

Two years ago, we lost a child. For the past two years, I’ve been carrying that pain because as heavy as it is, I was scared to let go.

I was scared that if I let go of the pain, then I was also letting go of Samshel.

I know now she taught me more in the year I knew her than I ever would’ve learned without her.

She taught me to make peace with the loss of my own mother almost twenty years ago.

She taught me how freaking important it is to take care of your mental health, and how VITAL it is to check in with the people around you and ask questions regarding how they’re doing.

That traumatic loss taught me more about grace and forgiveness that I didn’t even know I was missing.

Out of the most painful, broken, heart-wrenching things we have had no choice but to walk through, beauty can bloom.

We just have to look for it.

I remember, fresh after my first divorce, laying on my kitchen floor sobbing. I had cried for so long, I wasn’t even making sounds anymore.

There is a bible verse, one of my favorites, that talks of pilgrims walking through a valley, in reference to a difficult time for them. The Valley of Baca, which means a place of weeping. The passage goes on to say, even though the pilgrims had to walk through that valley, God made each step they took a spring, and flowers bloomed there.

I don’t think we go through painful lessons with any intention. Bad things happen. We don’t deserve them, it’s not part of any greater plan. How we handle them, how we grow or fold, that is what we are supposed to learn from.

I hope you choose to grow.

Friends, I pray you look within your own selves. I pray you can make peace with your past, and learn from the situations you’ve walked through. Choose to use your pain to soften your edges, to help your own beauty bloom.

I pray you have the strength to let go of the things you’ve been carrying, the things that weigh your shoulders down and place bags beneath your eyes.

Clinging to grief isn’t necessary to remember our loved ones.

Wearing our trauma doesn’t always make us stronger – not letting it control us is where the victory lies.

Divorce, broken relationships, the loss of a job, or financial difficulties are not badges to wear nor do they define who you are.

This article – Trauma isn’t your fault, but healing is your responsibility – is spot on. Trauma does NOT define you. You are still the creator of your story, and YOU alone get to write the next chapters.

Choose to let go of the weight of the past, sift through the experiences, and take with you only the lessons you’ve learned and the knowledge you’ve gained.

We are just getting started, and we are going to do beautiful things ❤️