Oh, friends.
That was a rough one! This cold and flu season has decided to make our home base, which I think is entirely unfair.
But, we made it. Everyone is healthy and happy (except the 12-year-old – I think it’s in their operator’s manual that they are not allowed to act/look/be happy). Total body count – 6 out of 9.
I intended to make the “Embrace” posts a three-part series. Here is Embrace The Suck if you missed it earlier. I’m not quite sure my thought process was entirely coherent, as I was in the thick of stomach flu germs and severely sleep-deprived. I was knee-deep in the “suck” if you will 😆
Mike always calls our life (and my life, pre-him) “organized chaos”. I mean, he’s not wrong. With nine people going several different directions each, there is a lot of motion around our house. And when five kids need to be in five different locations at 5:00 pm, chaos reigns (and kids argue over who has to be thirty minutes early to practice).
We do our best to organize our tribe, and I think we do a pretty decent job of it most of the time.
What I love most about our chaos – how I choose to embrace it – is that our house is absolutely overflowing with all the good stuff. There are people EVERYWHERE! And kids that play TOGETHER! And even more kids show up (because their parents tell them we won’t notice extras, no doubt)!
It’s noisy. Oh, is it noisy. But our house is so full of love and happiness and friendships and it literally makes my eyes tear up thinking about how full all of our hearts are as well.
Embrace the chaos, friends. This season of our lives is so temporary, and it will be over before we know it (and when it sucks, refer to “embracing the suck” because it’ll do that too – teenagers were made to unravel us, I’m sure of it).
Embrace the noise.
Embrace the laughter.
Embrace the busyness.
Embrace the love that is filling your home.
I love this quote so much because friends, we get to choose how we want our attitude to be. It can be an attitude of gratitude, or it can be pissed off because someone tucked their dirty socks between the couch cushions (seriously though – WHY do they do that?!).
I choose every day to be grateful for the noise and the mess, because that means my children are here, within arms reach, and it won’t always be that way. I can walk down the hall and go into any of their rooms and sit down and have a conversation with them. When I have to wait for them to answer my FaceTime call and haven’t spoken to them in days? This mama’s heart is going to b-r-e-a-k.
Choose to embrace this stage of life. It’s busy and messy and crazy, but friends we are all blessed with the ENORMOUS task of raising these humans we made. ENJOY it! Love those babies. Choose to wake up with a grateful heart, because there won’t always be people waking you at 6 am for pancakes, or making you stay up until midnight to make sure they got home safely (dear God, why do we have children sixteen years apart?! We are getting hit from both ends! 😂).
How to embrace the chaos.
- Get yourself a parent tribe, stat. Better yet, become friends with your kids’ friends because then you have eyes on your kids all the time 😉.
- Wine. Lots of wine. Mike didn’t even like wine three years ago. Look at the guy now! Ha!
- Do fun things with your kids. They’re not going to remember all the video games you bought them, but they will remember family trips and game nights and all the fun stuff you guys did!
- Find a circle of babysitters you trust, so you can rotate through to decrease the risk of babysitter burnout (it’s a real thing. Just ask the college girl down the street from us. I’m pretty sure she changed her number because of our boys). Also, threaten kids with whatever means necessary to NOT make the babysitter cry so they will come back.
- Make a routine, and stick to it. Meal prep. Do a chore list. Even though your kids will tell you they will die from cleaning, they won’t. Call their bluff.
- Mike and I make a date out of grocery shopping once a week. We hit up our favorite margarita place, then knock out the grocery list (just don’t ask him about the time I forgot to meal plan. He’s still pretty bitter about wandering aimlessly around the store, guessing what we needed 😶). Who says you can’t make grocery shopping fun?! It’s all about your perspective.
- Let them do activities. They get one chance to do childhood, make it as big as they want! We require the kids to pick at least one activity. Getting them involved in communities and groups encourages them to develop relationships and connectedness, which increases their mental wellness.
- Ignore the mess. There will be shoes in the entryway and water cups on the table. Your kids will not want to build forts with you for ever.
Embrace this stage, parents. Enjoy your children. I hope instead of going to bed weary and drained each night, you go to bed with new memories made and a full heart ❤️
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What an awesome & inspirational post! Some days I feel at a total loss because trying to inspire everyone in the home to be happy, healthy, and motivated can be exhausting. Especially when the teenager walks around like their life is upside down and nothing is right. (I see that you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about). But the quote you favor is a favorite one of mine too. It’s so true isn’t it?! Thanks for sharing. Another thing, you’re sooooo right: find a tribe of babysitters you trust because you and the man need to get away from being mom and dad every so often to save & protect your sanity. haha.
Thank you so much! Yes, teenagers are a challenge! All the money in the world would not tempt me to re-live middle school 😂
Glad everyone is healing!
I wish I was given your advice when I had a house full of kids! It’s pretty obvious you and Mike have a great relationship with all the kids!
Thank you Robin! We try our best ❤️
wow dear this is so beautifully expressed. At times we do not understand the importance of childhood and keep on pressurising our kids. But as a parent over the years we realise that all the mess is beautiful with kids and everyday we are making memories with them. My children have grown up (they are 14 and 22) but I really miss the time and want that time to come back so that I can be like kids with them.
Yes, we try and enjoy every moment! With a seventeen year old in the house, we know how quickly it goes. It’s fun the older they get though, because you can have more of a relationship with them.
Great post. Somedays I’m so exhausted and burnt out and no one is listening and it feels like Jumanji hit my house and I forgot to make supper the bathroom is flooding etc etc etc and I think wow I really suck at this why did I think I could be mom. Then I remember how much we fought for our babies and how we prayed every day and realize that I was given miracles and I need to remember how blessed I am and that we got through that and we will get through this. It doesn’t always work but you’re right a good friend and some embracement makes it go a heck of a lot smoother!