This post is not suitable for anyone under 18. Or my dad. Or my in-laws. FULL DISCLAIMER – we’re about to get really personal up in here 😆
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Did everyone who wanted to leave, leave? Good. Here we go…
Being a wife, especially after becoming a mom is effing hard. We’re tired. We’re so very tired. Our bodies are soft in places they shouldn’t be. We get frustrated that our husband’s nipples are completely useless – worst design flaw ever.
We can’t take our frustrations out on our kids. So, where does it go? On to our marriage. We’re angry and resentful. We’re pissed we have to ask for help when clearly our spouses should recognize we are drowning!
Our sex lives are in the toilet. The last thing we want is for them to touch our smushy bellies or worry about whether we’re in the mood, if we shaved our legs, if they’re going to be offended we need to grab some lube because postpartum hormones and sheer exhaustion make us as dry as the mojave desert.
Sound familiar?
On the flipside, our husbands are missing our perky, happy selves. They’re wondering why their princess of a wife turned in to Oscar the Grouch. They’re resentful that their sex life has succombed to five minutes alone in the shower, while praying no one interrupts.
Both partners have a hard time adjusting to parentlife. Bringing NEW PEOPLE in, especially tiny, completely helpless and dependent people who don’t like to sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time is rough on everyone.
I gave this tiny little tidbit of advice to a girlfriend years ago… A week later, they both brought me flowers out of pure gratitude.
Ladies.
Give your man a blowjob. If you want him to unload the dishwasher, start a load of clothes, or wake up with the baby tonight, give the guy a blowjob.
Just because sex is the last thing on our minds does not mean we shouldn’t want to meet our husbands needs. I promise you, if you pull him into the laundry room, close the door, and unzip his pants, he is going to kiss the ground you walk on. He will let you go to bed early – and you know what else that means? No unsolicited boob grabs in the middle of the night. Which means you get to SLEEP. Hallelujah.
I’m not saying our needs don’t matter. But we, men and women, are wired differently. We may need a clean house and a full nights’ sleep and a day to ourselves to get in the mood for sex, but a solid 90% of the time that’s where our husbands’ minds are.
Scratch his back, and he’ll scratch yours. Teamwork. High five each other, and then duck into the bedroom for a well deserved nap.
🙌🏼🙌🏼
Share with your girlfriends who NEED to hear this, pin it on Pinterest, invite them to our Facebook page! As always, I appreciate all the ❤️
Amen!! Excellent advice 🙂 I miss you!
Oh Erin…now you’ve done it. I’m almost eighty and let me tell you we still love to make love. Trouble is we can’t. But my Bill who has dementia has not forgotten that part of our life. We cluddle a lot. Kiss and hug each other and tell each other , “I love you” every day . You should see his eyes roll and light up. Makes my day. Our best days are ahead.
That’s fabulous, Donna!! ❤️