Let me start by telling you a pretty big secret…
I didn’t choose my nursing career because I felt all lovey and wanted to make a difference.
I was a newly single, unemployed, uneducated mom of three who needed a way to take care of her babies.
I wanted to be able to provide a good life for them, and be able to spend time with them. And so nursing came to be, which turned into a rather poetic story as I love what I do more than anything, and am extremely passionate about my work. So what if it was the dollar signs that led me here? Kismet.
When I first became a nurse (LPN), I wanted to do something fluffy, like work in OB. And so I did quite the opposite and worked in a transitional care facility, taking care of geriatrics. Literally could not have been further from my initial goal. Helping babies into the world – vs. caring for the elderly at the end of their lifespan. But, as my luck would have it, I loved this job just as much.
One more truth bomb? Largely because of my past, I had an extreme aversion to mental health. In fact, I almost dropped out of nursing school when we went through our mental health series. We’ll come back to this…
So, I worked tirelessly in transitional care/LTC while earning my RN, and then moved to briefly to a pediatric clinic. I loved me some kiddos – obvs – but working 5-6 days a week did not fit into my picture of motherhood. And so, I went on to the hospital.
If you haven’t gathered quite yet, I like change. I adore new challenges. And so I moved throughout the units within the hospital, gaining new skills and tucking knowledge away like a hoarder with towers of newspaper lining the walls in their home.
I ended a marriage and moved my kids to a new home. I fell in love and moved once more (God bless my children for being so resilient).
And then we lost a beautiful little girl. And I lost my mom all over again, because that too had been tucked away.
Walking through grief with my new husband should’ve ended us. It did, a few times. But we took turns picking each other back up and hugging the pain away, while trying to navigate the sorrow with our children. Counseling? Check. Positive, cheerful posters littering the walls? Check. Extracurricular activities for distraction? Check. Community involvement? Check. Family time? Check. Check, check, check. We buckled down and loved each other so hard, and I don’t know that we could’ve handled the awful stack of cards we had been dealt any better.
Ever so slowly, our life has moved on. And I have been craving change again. Losing Samshel, I learned that I have the ability to carry the weight of loss, and to help others navigate that painful and lonely path. I cannot rest until all of my ability is used.
All of this has led me to a new path, a new direction in my career. I am in the beginning stages of first achieving my BSN, and then I will move on towards accomplishing my masters in psychiatric nurse practitioner. I intend to focus on adolescent care, because why not? My cup isn’t empty, yet!
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